My Roommate

Na, Kang Eun Jo… Never felt mad like this before. My roommate, Song Ah made me feel like hell!!!!

That is how I describe my hurt and pained heart. Living in campus live has already been tough enough for me to handle, alas living with her make me feel like I am someone who easy (ManManHaNi!!!) Which I am not!! Well, maybe a little. It is just because I didn't fight back! I hate arguments. Whenever I got into a fight, my heartbeat will increase rapidly, my face will turn pale, and my hand will tremble and if it gets worse, I will just collapse and have a high potential for getting stroke. I am really bad in fight, tears comes first before words and finally will shuts my mouth up for good.

I am such a loser aren't I? Lost before the battle even started.. I loved to run away from arguments and keep everything inside my hearts. Like volcano keeping its hot magma underneath its beautiful mountain, no one will ever expect when it will erupt. To me, eruption equals death since my mental its not strong enough to uphold such heavy emotion. I might as well drop dead due to drowning in emotion. Crazy, huh? I know….

So back to Song Ah, she is someone who just enters my room this semester. For three semesters, I have been living in the same room, only my roommate who has change. At first she is someone who is kind and love to talk to me, but an obvious mamas girl. I don't really care if it doesn't involve me in it. But when she starts to held one of the most important posts in my dormitory, she suddenly became stricter and tried so hard to make her looks good. Even if my others roommate (I live in a room of four) would do something against the rule one to many times, whenever I did it, she would just speak up her mind about how serious my mistakes are and I should just listen to her…

Maybe, just maybe, if I had the courage to talk back… maybe she would not just said those hurtful words to me… maybe I made myself a pushover, someone who just cannot fight back. 어쩌라고? Tired of everything.. I am tired just holding back those words inside my tongue and shriveled on my bed, crying my eyes out…. Alone…

 

 

넌 나랑 왜 만나니? 그렇게 내가 쉬워 보였니?

Why do you see me? Did you think I am that easy?

내가 더 잘할게

I will do better.